I don't think your post is able to be edited so I'll just comment here. I think you have a lot off good information in your paper but I think you need more of an introduction into your topic. Like some kind of quote or anecdote. Also it was kind of confusing because there weren't any indentions. But your formatting might have changed when you uploaded to Google Docs. That happened to me! But anyway, I think you have a pretty good start.
I don't think your post is able to be edited so I'll just comment here. I think you have a lot off good information in your paper but I think you need more of an introduction into your topic. Like some kind of quote or anecdote. Also it was kind of confusing because there weren't any indentions. But your formatting might have changed when you uploaded to Google Docs. That happened to me! But anyway, I think you have a pretty good start.
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